Thursday, July 26, 2012

Misadventures of My Personal Ad

My folly this time is thinking through my actions before completing them. Though, if I hadn't thought this through, who knows what the consequences would have been.

My Personal Ad:
Looking for a good home for a Never Removed From Box 29 year old.

Legal: Unfortunately, the previous claims are so spurious that we are unable to print them.

My Revised Personal Ad:
Seeking a good home for a former 29 year old in mint condition.

Legal: Ahem

My New Revised Personal Ad:
Former 29 year old in gently used condition needs a good home.

Legal: Gently Used?

My Next New Revised Personal Ad:
Slightly worn, former 29 year old is looking for a safe haven to rest her weary head.

Legal: We wash our hands of this.

My Amended Next New Revised Personal Ad:
Help! Someone get me out of here!

Legal: We apologize for what has obviously been the rantings of a slightly unhinged mind. This is, undoubtedly, the result of someone grounded on a lovely summer day.