Misadventures of Life Hacks

Life hacks seem to be a big thing right now. Since I spend most of my time foundering, I wouldn't presume to give an adult any life hacks. I do, however, have a few life hacks to offer to my children:                          

1. If you hide the evidence by cleaning up after yourself, you'll get away with a lot more.

2.  If you do something the first time you are asked, the need to keep asking you disappears.

3. If you want to use Mom's possessions, don't throw a huge tantrum when she asks you to do something.

4. Mom can go from zero to crazy person in under 3 seconds, don't cook a quesadilla or a hot pocket a half hour before dinner time.

5. If you refuse to work on your homework when help is cheerfully offered, don't be surprised to find yourself doing homework by yourself.

6. When Mom offers to wash your clothes if you will bring them out, do it. Otherwise, your Saturday is likely to be filled with laundry duties.

7. Don't expect Mom to back up one of your, "Mom says....", while Mom is still waiting for you to do what she asked you to do.

8. When Mom or Dad ask if you have brushed your teeth, they mean recently.

9. When Mom is singing, "Count Your Blessings",it means that you need to run, fast.

10. Mom turns from Jekyll to Hyde at 8:30. It is in your best interests to conclude your business with her before that hour or be prepared for the consequences.