Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Misadventures of More than Usual Confusion

As I sit reflecting on 2014, a year full of many adventures and misadventures, I am astonished to discover that my last blog entry was New Year's Eve 2013. In 2013, I wrote what was basically a top 13 of 2013, though, of course, it had a better name. I remember thinking at the time that, rather than reflect on the many failings of the year, reflecting on things learned throughout the year would be a fun tradition. Now I sit, at the end of a year that has taught me so much more than I ever wanted to learn, and words fail me.

What is causing this inexplicable writer's block? Were the lessons too hard-won? Is it still too raw to record? Maybe. I believe that the real reason is that, being truly insincere and deeply shallow, personal reflection doesn't come easily and this year's lessons don't fall into my usual flippant style. Still, having decided on this tradition on New Year's Eve last year, writing my life lessons will be the resolution that I keep. So, in no order of importance, here are the top 14 things that I learned in 2014:

14. The saying, "All's well that ends well," is a crock. I've used this analogy before, forgive me if this is a repeat. My thankfully short experience with cancer was rather like picking up a snow globe and shaking. You can shake the snow globe, then put it safely on the shelf and walk away, but the dust doesn't settle in the same way and the snow globe is changed.

13. Optimistic shoes rule!

12. Sometimes, it is just as well to take a wrong turn. The extra miles may be the most enjoyable.

11. (Learned on the same day as 12) Realize that when someone tells you that a hike is "not bad", the term is subjective.

10. My children were much more interesting to write about when they were little and I didn't understand the method behind their madness.

9. Though I miss my babies desperately, my children are turning into really incredible people. They are my best friends, my peers, my confidants; not in the "I want to be their BFF's" way, but in the "I enjoy their company, their thoughts, their insights" kind of way.

8. Coconut oil makes awesome cookies!

7. My panda has great potential as an Evil Scientist. She is so sweet that it is difficult to picture the diabolical plans lurking beneath the surface. Trust me, they're there.

6. Left-over pizza in the fridge is like balm to the soul after a hard night.

5. Mornings are more fun if you write a song to sing.

4. Don't send Daddy to buy the girls their delicates!!!!!

3. All never ending numbers are the same since infinity is infinite, but never ending 9's will get you there faster.

2. I like words so much that I have used pulling off a Band-Aid as an analogy for..... pulling off a Band-Aid.

1. Although I try to be fairly honest with my posts, sometimes the wording of things that I write gives a false impression of someone capable of dealing with things. I think that if my family and my Facebook friends ever started talking, they would all be very confused about who I am.

Here's to an awesome and funnier 2015!

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