Thursday, September 1, 2016

Misadventures of .... You think that I'm an Evil What?!

On lengthy (anything over 23 minutes) car rides, the children and I enjoy listening to audiobooks. However, on short rides, when we're just buzzing around town or driving carpool, we like to listen to comedy. Our favorites are Smothers Brothers, Bill Cosby (Is it politically incorrect to listen to him these days?), Abbott and Costello, and,of course, Weird Al. Our current carpool album is called, Average Anthems, by Dustin and Genevieve Ahkuoi. Our favorite song on the album is, Tap That (Snooze). It is a song about, Duh, the joys of hitting the snooze button. Some of the lyrics are:

"I'm gonna tap that snooze, because it keeps my dreams alive. Yeah, I'm gonna tap that snooze when I pry open my crusty eyes. It's the only thing I love, when that evil alarm freakin' wakes me up. I'm gonna tap that snooze 'cause that extra five gives me life"


"S-N-Double O-Z-E. Wake up in the morning feelin' poopy. S-N-Double O-Z-E. You know you're the one for me."

When listening to this song a few days ago, Nicole looked at me and said, "Now you know how we feel when you come in and wake us up in the morning." I confess that I was stunned silent for several seconds while thoughts raced around my little mind. How could she possibly say that to me?! How could I have raised such a clueless child?! Is she really so lacking in empathy that she doesn't know that, 17 seconds before I'm in waking her up, I have just used the strongest language that I know to chastise my own alarm after "Tapping that Snooze" for at least a half hour?! Despair and anger battle in my heart. 

Thankfully, my complacency, once again, rose to my aid when I remembered the transformation that I go through in that 17 seconds. In the time it takes me to climb from bed and cross the hall, I go from disgusted grumbling and, I'm ashamed to admit, some name calling directed at my alarm to smiling and singing a good morning song. I haven't raised completely apathetic children, I'm just a really good actress. I sure wish that someone would tell my high school drama teacher how very convincing I can be!